Friday, July 13, 2007
Brian Vs. God: The Debate Continues...
... and please understand I'm talking about the traditional Christian God, not Allah or any of his prophets or underlings. They're all swell people/deities -- stand-up guys, each and every one -- and not a fit subject for mockery. All praise be to Allah.
Acts of Brian usually involve the smoke detector going off at 3 in the morning. Once, he put his head through the drywall while sleepwalking. Pretty tame stuff.
Acts of God, on the other hand, usually end in someone's shit getting seriously fucked up.
God created the heavens and the earth, coming in under budget and earlier than his seven-day deadline. A pretty good trick, really.
Brian has created a couple of little remote control cars from a kit and a blasphemous blog.
God requires your constant and eternal devotion and fear.
As does Brian.
God has a bunch of rules that he put into a Letterman-style top ten list. He also has bunch of people and lifestyles he strongly dislikes, most of which he didn't even bother to mention in his book.
With Brian ... anything goes. He encourages you to break any of the Big-Ten rules if the situation calls for it. Brian doesn't care about your lifestyle as long as you don't diddle kids. He does encourage you to stay in school and not smoke crack, though.
Verdict: ...depends on your point of view
Brian wasn't created from a ancient need to expain the world around us and terrify the masses into behaving themselves.
God ... well ...err... ahem ... yeah.
Verdict: Despite the fact that Brian hasn't accomplished nearly as much as God, he nudges out The Supreme Being by destroying much less and by actually existing.