Friday, April 11, 2008


The next time your pharmacist tells you that Dextromethorphan is a 'creativity drug', spit in her face and call her a liar for me!

It's a nasty, nasty drug that makes you enjoy Japanese monster movies (giant flying turtles rawk!), read biographies of Charles Schultz and neglect blogs. A thousand pardons to all who threatened, tickled, cajoled and whined at me. Please forgive me ... but surely if Gamera, who was once "the enemy of all Japan but now he is a friend to the children" can change ... I can change too.

The Dextromethorphan (or DM, as I call it) actually had me believe - for a split second - that the Toronto Maple Leafs could either make the play-offs or get a decent draft pick. Silly hipster. Now all I have is the schadenfreude directed at Ottawa Senators fans whose team has gone directly into the toilet.

My loyal homo following can disregard the above comment, but Mark - I know you're feelin' me buddy.
(Homos ... you just can't feel me ... unless I'm quite drunk and you tell me I'm pretty. By the way, quit saying 'pretty', leaving a long pause, then saying 'pretty ugly' under your breath. That's a douche-bag thing to do.)

The DM even made me neglect my job as a salesman of quality electronics that everyo ... oh fuckit, I can't even complete this sentence (note the entendre) with a straight face. I sell crap. Absolute crap. If you are my friend, do not buy anything I sell you. If you're really my friend I won't even try.

Without the help of a telethon held by Fergie Oliver or the guy who used to play Harrigan the Leprechaun (H A Double R I G A N spells HARRIGAN) I kicked the DM monkey off my back. It takes 475 ml of Wiser's, 27 cigarettes and fondling my beloved new knife called Vendetta every damn day.

But it's worth it. Kids ... don't go down the Dextromethorphan trail. Stay relatively clean.

It's worth it.

In the long run.

I suppose