Saturday, October 27, 2007

Very Bad Poetry

Drunkenly trying on clothes
I questioned, “What the hell?”
And she told me this parable
She said, “My dog has no nose.”
I asked, “How does he smell?”
Her answer to me? “Terrible”.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Is it sad that I'm pushing 40-years-old and...

...The Ramones can still make me drunkenly pogo around the room?
...I still get pissy about a certain Toronto hockey team chronically under-achieving?
...I think cartoons (The Simpsons, Home Movies, Roger Ramjet, The Adventures of Rocky and Bullwinkle) are the epitome of American art?
...I think of people who don't wanna mix pills and booze, for fear of a bad reaction, as 'pussies'?
...I still check the music charts to see what 'the kids' are listening to these days?
...and the fact I automaticly assume that music won't affect 'the kids' the same way Pleased To Meet Me, Nevermind or The Joshua Tree affected me?
...and that I call them 'the kids'?
...I still think Elvis Costello is hip?
...insist on an open bar at my funeral and playing 'Should I Stay Or Should I Go?' as they walk me to my hole in the ground?
...the three people I'd like to get drunk with? Hunter Thompson, Henry Rollins and Joan of Arc.
Thank you all, goodnight...Rock 'n' Roll...Yeaaaaaah!

Friday, October 5, 2007

A Short Note Thanking Wine...

...For reminding me that, even though I worked twelve hours at a meaningless McJob today ...

There is still music I like.
I'm in the middle of a good book.
I can get lost in my PlayStation.
I have TWO DAYS OFF IN A ROW coming up.
I get laid on occasion
I can beat any man east of The Pecos River at bare-knuckle boxing.

Granted, the last one is a delusion created by insomnia, an empty stomach, three Amitriptylne and two bottles of wine.
I won't feel like this tomorrow morning. I know it's kinda stupid to be getting loaded when I have to work in ten hours. Sorry but, if my id had a voice it would sound like Foghorn Leghorn. If my super-ego had a voice, it would sound like Hans Moleman.
I am, you'll be glad to know, drinking lots of water, will take some vitamins and going to bed relatively early.
But, to paraphrase my friend Neal, 'Why have a crappy job if you can't get drunk the night before?'
It's not as bad as we think.

(post script: It is now tomorrow morning. I am at the above job. Reading this does make me feel a little better, despite my mild hangover.
And despite the fact that the cat took a dump on my bedroom floor.
Which I stepped in.
Good times.)