Thursday, November 29, 2007
More Simpsons Quotes I Actually Use in Everyday Life
The previous post on this subject seemed pretty popular ... and I do like to pander to the lowest common denominator.
Plus, I get to rip off funny stuff from another source without doing my own work.
So...what the hell?
I expect at least fifty comments with your own favourite Simpsons quotes or I'll rethink this entire pandering...nay, blogging... idea.
"I used to rock and roll all night and party every day. Then it was every other day. Now I'm lucky if I can find half an hour a week in which to get funky."
-- Homer J. Simpson
Homer says this when he realizes that he is hopelessly out of touch with '90s music. His beloved Grand Funk Railroad (later shortened to Grand Funk ... probably by record company weasels in suits) is no longer a relevant musical force. Despite the wild, shirtless rythyms of Mark Farner and the compentent drumming of Don Brewer.
I like to use this this quote whenever (if-ever) I do something stereotypically ... well... adult. Like buying RRSPs from my banker. Or convenience store clerk. Where do they sell those damn things anyway?
"You can't seriously want to ban alcohol. It tastes great, makes women appear more attractive, and makes a person virtually invulnerable to criticism."
-- Mayor Quimby
This is how Quimby responded when the town charter revealed Springfield was still a 'dry' town. I don't think I can add anything to this quote. I can't make it any more funnier or any more true.
"Hey, you know, I once knew a man from Nantucket...let's just say the stories about him are greatly exaggerated"
-- Homer J. Simpson
Homer sees Nantucket on a map...ehh...this is rarely used -- but if a certain island in Massachusetts ever comes up in conversation -- you're golden.
"Oh boy! Sleep! That's where I'm a Viking!"
-- Ralph Wiggum
Oh Ralphie, where do I begin to start. Your non-sequiters, grammatical errors and foolish statements speak to the retarded child in all of us (see also: my cat smells like cat food, I bent my wookie and Me fail english? That's unpossible!).
"Like the time I caught the ferry over to Shelbyville. I needed a new heel for my shoe, so I decided to go to Morganville, which is what they called Shelbyville in those days. So I tied an onion to my belt, which was the style at the time. Now, to take the ferry cost a nickel, and in those days nickels had pictures of bumblebees on 'em. Give me five bees for a quarter, you'd say. Now, where were we, oh yeah, the important thing was that I had an onion on my belt, which was the style at the time. They didn't have white onions, because of the war. The only thing you could get was those big yellow ones..."
-- Abe (Grampa) Simpson
Hired by Mr. Burns to quell union unrest, Abe can't break heads like he could as a strike-breaker in the '30s. He can bore people with pointless stories, I just use this to mock old and/or boring people.
Like I said...I want at least fifty replies. Post your favourite Simpson quotes. I know that I have between eight and twelve loyal readers. Surely to God...Surely to appease my own ego...For the love of the teddy bear Mohammed...Just post your favourites.
at 9:51 p.m.