Friday, December 14, 2007

Some Trivia You May Not Have Known About Brian...

...He finds the idea of Karma more palatable than the other pseudo-mystical horseshit he has been fed. The idea of 'Don't be a douche-bag lest it bite you in the ass' is much more appealing than some omniscient dude who frowns on abortion, infidels and pork.
He secretly suspects being a douche-bag will get you further in life. He doubts but hopes that the douche-bags will come back as dung beetles or electronics salesmen in the next life.

...He knows he's made a horrible mistake with his life...He just doesn't have a handle on fixing it since he now has to support both himself and The Tiny-Toothed Mayoress of Needy Town. If anyone wants to offer him a reasonable, adult-sized job -- please respond via this blog.
I'll warn you upfront -- He does drink. He really likes taking pills. Oh yeah, and he probably won't put up with your 'I'm the boss' shit. Other than that, he is a model employee.

...He thinks Alex Lifeson from the progressive rock 'n' roll band Rush is the best guitar player in the world ... based solely on the first two tracks of Permenant Waves.
Jimi Hendrix, Eric Clapton and Liona Boyd be damned.

...He misses Perry -- who has ruined New Year's Eve for Brian (you selfish prick, Perry) by snuffing it on that night -- and he has been a very, very bad god-father to Samantha.
Though it makes him become a bit maudlin at times, he hopes that Newfie bastard is resting in peace.

...He is a very bad electonics salesman -- he keeps telling people to go and invest more money in a Mac.
He doesn't sell them at his store and can't make a commission from it, but ... ehhh. It's a better computer ... and Vista is a pain in the balls.
Go buy an Apple computer. Spend the extra money.

...He doesn't really like Sex In The City, Friends or Degrassi: Anything ... He just pretends that to get laid. It rarely works.
He actually likes hockey, pornography and violence films.

...He hates this stupid foster-cat.

4 comments:

slingshott30 said...

I like Joan Jett as a guitarist. ...simple yet awesome, and while she don't give a damn about her bad reputation....She rocks the boxes of all around her into a frothy frenzy.
Oh and I love rock and roll...and you Bri Bri.
Keep the Faith my friend.
Cory the homosexual waiter man who is going to be 40 soon.
WOOHOO.

Anonymous said...

oohhhh... Cory the homosexual waiter man who is going to be 40 soon...
Tell me something, since you're a waiter and all, you would know the answer to this question...

whaddya want on your pizza.... faaaaaaag....?

:D

slingshott30 said...

Meaty Balls.


Bet you didn't see that one cumming.



Zing.

Anonymous said...

neither did the guy at Pizza Pizza... what with it being sponsor night and all at the Perchy Perchy...