Thursday, February 14, 2008

The Top Five Most Influential Dead Celebrities

Norman Fell
Most famous for his role as Mr. Roper in Three's Company, Fell died of cancer in 1998 at the age of seventy-four. A character actor, Norman Fell appeared in the original Ocean's 11, It's A Mad Mad Mad Mad World, Catch 22 and C.H.U.D. II: Bud The Chud.

Most Awesome Role?
Jack McGuire in The Kinky Coaches and The Pom Pom Pussycats (1981)
Mortal Enemy?
Don Knotts
Lasting Legacy?
Norman Fell didn't pioneer the concept of the comic misunderstanding with hilarious consequences but, brother, did he perfect it! Add that to his tendancy to break the 'fourth wall' and leer suggestively at the audience? Comedy gold.

Paul Lynde
Game show main-stay Lynde died of a heart attack in 1982, likely brought about by his fondness for drinking and drugging. Lynde had recurring roles on The Munsters and Bewitched but it was his gig as Center Square on Hollywood Squares that allowed him to spread his ... wings and and entertain us with thinly-veiled (ahem) gags about his homosexuality.
Host: Who are more likely to be romantically responsive. Women under thirty or women over thirty?Lynde: I don't have a third choice?

Most Awesome Role?Sportscaster on Son of Flubber (1963)
Mortal Enemy?Charles Nelson Reilly
Lasting Legacy?
Lynde paved the way for a generation of televised sassy homos. Without Paul Lynde, there would be no Niles from Frasier, no Jack from Will & Grace, Corky from Life Goes On (oh yeah...he is) and no Cory from My Life.

Dana Plato
Plato played Kimberly Drummond, Gary Coleman's adoptive sister on Diff'rent Strokes until she was fired for getting fucked up on the set everyday and, subsequently, pregnant. I suspect Conrad Bain.
She went on to appear in such diverse films as Bikini Beach Race, Lethal Cowboy and Different Strokes: The Story of Jack and Jill ... and Jill.
Although her 1999 death was labelled a suicide, Arnold and Willis swear it was just an ordinary drug overdose.

Most Awesome Role?
Lisa, Mike Seaver's girlfriend on Growing Pains, who tries but ultimately fails to get some Kirk Cammeron cock in 1985. (Thanks to Barb for this tidbit ... I'm proud to know you even though your right breast was itchy all day and when you finally investigated six hours later, found the cause was a Cool Ranch Dorito underneath.)
Mortal Enemy?Tootie from The Facts Of Life
Lasting Legacy?
Plato was THE child star fuck-up, arrested for robbing a video store with a pellet gun. Britney, Lindsay. Olsen Twins ... are you paying attention?

Redd Foxx
Best Known as Fred Sanford on seventies sitcom Sanford and Son, Redd Foxx had a very raunchy night club act in the sixties. My father used to have 8-tracks of the albums he released that he used to hide with his porno and ammunitiion for fear that they would warp my fragile young mind.
Foxx was a friend of Malcolm Little (later Malcom X) in the 1940s'. He died in 1991 on the set of the short-lived stcom The Royal Family of a heart attack. Sadly, cast and crew thought he was doing his "I'm coming Elizabeth" fake heart attack routine from Sanford and Son, laughed and did nothing.

Most Awesome Role?
Redd Foxx in The Redd Foxx Comedy Hour (1977)
Mortal Enemy?
Lasting Legacy?
Without Redd Foxx, there would be no Richard Pryor. Without Richard Pryor, there would be no Eddie Murphy. Without Eddie Murphy, there would be no Nutty Professor 2: The Klumps. The world would be a poorer place.

Andre The Giant
Born Andre Rene Rousimoff, dubbed the 'eighth wonder of the world', Andre The Giant stood about seven-feet-tall and weighed about 500 pounds. Andre appeared in one of the best Sunday afternoon movies ever, The Princess Bride, and by all accounts got his co-stars Mandy Patinkin and Cary Ewles so drunk every night director Rob Reiner wanted to fire him. One night, Andre alledgedly drank 116 beers. When he passed out in a hotel lobby, his companions couldn't move him, so they grabbed the hotel piano and placed it over him so he wouldn't be disturbed. Ah, drunken logic ... how I love ya. Andre died in 1993 of congestive heart failure brought on by being a giant.
Oh yeah, he also wrassled.

Most Awesome Role?
Bigfoot in The Six Million Dollar Man (1976)
Mortal Enemy?
That fucker Hacksaw Jim Duggan
Lasting Legacy
There is no-one ... I repeat NO-ONE ... that drunken French giant children look up to more than Andre the Giant. No one!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I feel you have left out Wayland Flowers and Madame.
Give them a google.
I am sure they will google you back.