Saturday, February 23, 2008
Cat Truce Good For Local Economy, Says Mayor
A fragile feline peace was achieved in the Leith household Saturday morning as Fuzzy, Dexter and Becky suspended hostilities to pledge allegiance to Joan.
The sporadic fighting had been going on the better part of a week after Becky and Fuzzy were left at the Leith house while their owner, Neal Bridgens is vacationing in Spain.
"We realized this belligerence was counter-productive and keeping us from reaching our common goals," a spokesperson quoted from a written statement drafted by all three cats. "Namely, getting fed and annoying the bald, angry man in the living room. Quite frankly, we prefer the slow moving judgmental lady. She gives us food and yells less. Sometimes she gives us tuna water."
Sources say Brian Ellicott, the angry. bald man in question, has become a bit too liberal with the spray bottle, prompting the cats to band together. Barb Leith, speaking on condition of anonymity, said "He sprayed Becky ... Becky-Becky-Boo (hic). I mean, Fuzzy scratches and Dexter likes to fight but what's Becky ever done? Huh? Nuthin', that's what!"
The water bottle is allegedly not just used to keep cats in line.
"He sprayed me when I tried to take his cheese. I like cheese (hic). I just wanted some cheese," sobbed Leith.
When reached for comment, Ellicott issued a terse statement.
"I hate those fucking cats."
at 10:32 PM