Wednesday, November 12, 2008

If you need a band name ... take one of these.

If you are thinking of starting a rock 'n' roll combo - and who isn't in these troubled times- then feel free to use one of these uber-rockin' band names.
I'll be calling my band Big Scary Negro -- so Hands off unless you are a large, frightening person of African descent.
Otherwise, consider this a name grabbing free-for-all. All this shit I just made up must go!

Walkerton Popsicle

Sweet and Deadly!
For non-Canadians, the town of Walkerton had a water quality crisis with eight unfortunate results. In truth, this is a fairly tasteless joke.

Fur Sausages

Have you ever seen a cat vomit?

The Magnificent Trouser Devils

Are they devils who have magnificent trousers? Or are they Trouser Devils that are magnificent?
Nobody knows except the fictional band.

Daddy Issues

I'd have never gotten laid without the fact that the chicks have Daddy Issues in spades. Oh, that and my old man was a teacher in Catholic school and his former students wanted to subvert his authority. God Bless You, archaic superstitious educational system.
The uniforms are pretty hot too.

Miracle Groin

I thought I heard Jesse Jackson say this on Larry King when interviewed about Barrack Obama's recent presidential victory.
I suspect I misheard.
But it would be cool if that is what he said.

The Beatles

It's like an animal - but the spelling is changed because the music has a beat. Get it? Get it?
Personally, I prefer Johnny and the Moondogs,

Bossy Twat

Thank you Barb for the inspiration. I think we all know why.

The Lapplanders

Because reindeer is good eatin'.
Every Christmas when I was young, my father would haul out a rifle, clean it, and then pretend to telephone Fred's Meat Market and ask them how much they paid for reindeer meat.
Good Lord!
Judging from the above posts I think I may have Daddy issues.
He did always assume I was an idiot.

By The Way:
I hope all you Canadians spent a minute in silence, on this Remembrance Day, for the men (and a couple of women) who died for our freedom.
It took more 'nads than I have to ship out and risk death in somewhere that isn't my living room.
Plus, it is one of our few holidays not based entirely on fictional people.
Thanks, veterans. Without you I might not have the right to spout this nonsense.


Anonymous said...

some of us don't know why... why?

and x2 about Remembrance Day... we cannot repay the debt we owe them

Barb said...

I am not a bossy twat. Brian likes to call me a bossy twat because he likes to imagine that he is oppressed in order to justify his angry rampages.
He thinks I'm being bossy when I ask him not to get so drunk that he: knocks over my Christmas tree, puts his head through the drywall, wakes my mom up at three a.m. to sound of the fire alarm cause he decided to do some drunken cooking, leaves my portable phone in a pool of red wine on the wooden coffee table - I could go on, but I think you all get the idea. If any one of you actually BELIEVES that I am a bossy twat, please leave your address, cause I'm coming by to drop Brian off at your house for a week.
The Most Patient Woman On Earth

Anonymous said...

We are a group a Swedish lingerie models, aged 18 - 23, who have surprisingly low self esteem.
We are thinking you are bossy twat.
Can Brian please be coming with us?
We will use the proceeds from our latest erotic callender shoot to be paying for his flight.

Anonymous said...

LOL....I think someone might be an insensitive nutsack

Anonymous said...

I'm pretty sure Jesse Jackson said the Obama victory represented a "miracle growing" in America. Just sayin...

Aging Hipster said...

Spoil Sport!

Anonymous said...

Actually I think he said Obama's Miracle Groin represented America's strength.

Anonymous said...

I believe he also said Obama's Magic Wiener would bring the troops home.