As a newly inaugerated Man of Leisure, I find my days fill up pretty quickly. I mean, there's watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer, re-mastering the three-chord magnificence that is Hotel Yorba, obsessively cleaning random things and drinking way more whisky than I think I should but much less whisky than I thought I would.
Never once in the last five days did I wear khaki pants that show-off that I didn't shake my cock well enough after taking a leak. I did try to charge Joan $4.99 to make sure the garbage made it out to the curb correctly. Old habits die hard.
I would like to thank the peope who have recently gifted me with BBC comedies on DVD, cigarettes, Family Circus anthologies, Stuffed Simian Companions, Doesoevsky novels and pepperoni.
The love has not been unappreciated but it has resulted in unreturned phone-calls. I don't answer the phone. I just don't. In a perfect world I'd have a girl who did that for me. Her blouse would be low-cut and her voice would be suitably breathy. Quite frankly, the ringing of the phone scares me and I won't answer unless I'm well drunk or think I could make a few shekels.
So don't phone before noon unless you are offering me money.
2 comments:
Barb wanted to name the new sock monkey Dr. Jonas Sock, which was the cleverest thing I've heard in a long while.
But just so every one knows, Brian let Duncan name the monkey, since he was the one who gave it to Brian, and Duncan picked the name Thomas - so please make sure you address him correctly when you meet him.
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